A & B - a beginning. Two equal parts of a growing and effervescent relationship.
This blog is both a description of and an active participant in our journey through life. Here we document our way to 1,000 dates - the joys, challenges, growing pains - and all the in-betweens.
A: I’m so happy we went to this game, despite giving my best grumpy-15-year-old mug in the photo above. (I’m really good at that mug.) We stood in the 200’s under to Budweiser sign again and it was great. The woman beside me kept saying, “Look at how cute Bautista’s butt is,” so I kept looking. It was… a butt. ;)
B: Strong glutes are important, we use our butt muscle so often. Baseball players can actually squat a lot of weight (on average) and that’s why so many of them have such profound butts. OK…fitness lesson over.
Our decision to go to the game was spontaneous. Sometimes A and I have moments where we don’t have something planned (it’s rare but true). I love how I’ve found someone who, in those moments, will either suggest a fantastic idea I agree with or agree with mine.
I’ve been in relationships where the word “no” was said more than “yes”. I love spontaneity and risks and trying new things or unplanned things. I am trying to do this more, to step out of my comfort zone more. A inspires this in me.
Metric, Stars and more at Riot Fest
Date #383 - Sunday Sep 7, 2014
A: TIFF just started a couple days prior and I was working at The Bloor when my shift got cut short. Coincidentally my buddy texted me about going to Riot Fest because she came upon two extra tickets and it was so awesome! No only do I love hanging out with her, but we met up with her partner who I’d never met and who is awesome. The bands were so great and the day was beautiful. I’ve never been to a concert that big before. Or a festival, I guess. It was overwhelming and interesting and fun, all at once. So. Many. People. I felt like I was on instagram because everyone was in crop tops and neon. I clearly don’t go to these places often.
I laughed and sighed with relief when we all agreed to leave after Metric (Boo Dallas Green…)…. But since I’m such a rookie, I drank one too many beers without going to the bathroom and had to leave halfway through Metric because I couldn’t stand up straight. Ugh!! It was the dumbest and hardest decision to make in this trivial situation. Nevertheless, I was happy to be there with 3 awesome people. When things just work out, I feel like I should never complain about anything…lol…
B: Riot Fest is this touring festival (it only goes to three cities) and features a bunch of bands. The lineup is more poppy than my liking and features bands I’m not a huge fan of.
A has always talked about wanting to go to Riot Fest. So when her friend offered us tickets I decided to go. Stars were playing and I really like their music. I also really used to like Metric and Death Cab For Cutie, so I figured I would have a good time.
Seeing Death Cab again was pretty awesome. They mostly played their older stuff and that was sweet. A and her friend have seen Metric together bunch and it was adorable to watch how excited she got. I have a lot of artistic quams and criticisms I could have brought up, but I decided to drop them and enjoy the night.
Oh, we totally forgot to mention Die Antwoord. We missed most of their set but saw the end. Watching them made me think of A and her MC work (If you didn’t know she MCs). I thought, “I could totally see her up there.” I know one day, if A wants, that dream comes true.
Disposable at Open Streets TO
Date #382 - Sunday, August 31, 2014
A: B and I were lucky to have our art project Disposable as part of the second Open Streets TO (Date #372 was the inaugural edition!). This week we moved over a few feet to this nice, open, grassy area, and had great conversations with so many people. I really loved peoples’ reactions to Disposable; for the most part completely understanding despite being shocked by the numbers.
Anytime outside in a creative and community space with B, I’m happy.
B: Despite getting very little sleep the night before (I was working more on the audio for A’s film) it was fantastic to setup our installation again. We played music and staked cups and talked to people about their consumption habits. Toronto throws away 1.2 Million cups a day and that is a ridiculously high number.
We think that everyone can do something, and that every action has an effect…and that coffee tastes better without that papery after-taste.
Filming a Documentary and Taking a time-out in Trinity Bellwoods Park
Date #381 - Saturday, August 30, 2014
A: B and I are shooting a short documentary about our friend’s experience training and executing a keg toss at Oktoberfest. It’s been really fun and I’ve learned a lot about fitness and goals. We met up and filmed all around the gym and our subject’s house and then went to Bellwoods to eat Greek food and hangout. I remember saying, “This might be the last time we really feel summer like this.” For the season, anyway. The sun was bright and the wind was slightly cool across your skin but the park was packed and people were really enjoying the beautiful weather. It was a nice way to end a hectic and long day of filming.
I’m happy to have these sorts of days with B, despite how over-whelmed and busy I feel all the time. He makes me feel less stressed about it all.
B: I don’t feel like A and I stop and sit very often. I can get worked up and anxious when working on artistic projects. I want things to be perfect and I put pressure on myself to execute. I am really happy to be working with A on this documentary and I want to make sure that we have moments where we can stop and appreciate what we are doing and I can tell her how grateful I am to have a partner like her.
It felt great, A shooting the film and Directing, and me recording the sound while our friend talked about tossing a keg and got some coaching from a coach from Academy of Lions. It was very “go, go, go” in the morning. Slowing down in the afternoon was nice and necessary.
Frank and a difference in opinion
Date #378 - Tuesday, August 26, 2014
A: Cheap Tuesdays at Carleton are actually still CHEAP! It’s hard to find that nowadays. I remember when it was $2 Tuesdays. But so it is.
We love the Carleton. We just showed up and picked a movie and went and watching it…. (Like you do anything else at a theatre??) I thought Frank was alright. B liked it more than I did and we got in an argument afterward because B said I wasn’t communicating how I felt about the movie in a clear enough way. But I really just thought it was ‘alright.’ A movie you see and then move on from. I thought the story was a little weak and that the characters could have been explored more thoroughly but maybe that’s the point. I’m not sure. I liked the setting. And the idea. I think B wants to dissect movies and talk with tangibles and expels about likes and dislikes and I guess I don’t always like doing that unless I love the movie. If he loved the movie, I can see why he’d want to do that.
In any case, any night I spend in a movie theatre, I consider a win.
B: This movie WAS amazing! I seriously loved it. So much. Frank and the quirky band members reminded me a lot of what I think the dynamic must be like between the members of Arcade Fire. The middle of the movie takes place in a lakeside cabin where the band rehearses and records their newest album. I love the creative process and I think this film excellently captured the weird and vulnerable places you must go to make beautiful art.
The film also heavily dealt with the concepts of identity and fame. It asked, “What do you need to do and who must you prove yourself to to feel justified?” It was also hilarious.
After the film I wanted to see if A felt the same way. She didn’t. I trust her so much that I thought, “OK, what did I miss?” She initially chalked her lacklustre feelings up to “not being in to films about music,” because she’s not a musician. A knows how to play violin, and she’s an MC. She also writes and thus, in my mind, can identify with the artistic practice, and know about film. So, I pushed. I said, “I think it is unfair to reduce your opinion to a lack of interest in music films.”
I think you have to be careful when applying this kind of pressure. You have to know why you’re pushing someone, how hard to push, and when to back off. Eventually A opened up. She told me about how Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character was very one-dimensional and could have served much more of a purpose. She pointed out where the film dragged. I loved hearing this an I agreed. I knew my bias was affecting my view and that the film wasn’t perfect.
I don’t know why she didn’t open up at first. Maybe it is because I expressed such deep love for the film…or at least a love that the film conjured. What’s important, I think, is balance. Yes, I had positive feelings and A didn’t. But that doesn’t mean either one of us shouldn’t feel free to communicate those feelings and opinions. I also think A would have eventually shared her opinion and I could have pushed less. I think challenging your partner is essential (otherwise you will stagnate) and that there are positive ways to do this - the difference between a push and an encouraging word.
Surprise pizza night!
Date #376 - Thursday, August 21, 2014
A: I went to see a movie at the Royal by myself while B worked late as usual. When he was done we were thinking of what to do and he said, “I kind of just want to get a party pizza and hang out.” And so it was. I can’t really indulge right now because of my teeth/bike accident… I have to cut up all my food instead of biting it which makes me full a lot faster since it takes me so long! But party pizzas are still delicious and it makes me happy to see B happy. It’s nice to indulge with someone else……. hehehehehe
B: When A called me after the film before coming over I joking said all I wanted to do was eat pizza and cuddle. I was so excited when she actually showed up with AN ACTUAL PIZZA!!! We had such a blast just eating and watching more of HBO’s Getting On.
Rainy night inside watching “Getting On”
Date #375 - Wednesday, August 20, 2014
A: It feels like fall, a titch of coolness came up on us quickly and the rain came heavy. Thunderstorms and lightning and all. B and I stayed in and stayed dry instead of going here or there. It wasn’t hard. I can’t remember what we watched or did but I bet it was nice.
B: We watched “Getting On" - the new and hilarious show from HBO about an extended care unit at a hospital. It is super-funny and A and I laugh so hard.
Our art installation “Disposable” at Open Streets TO
Date #372 - Sunday, August 17, 2014
A: Disposable was at Open Streets TO from 8am - noon and it was such a lovely morning! Besides talking to interesting and intriguing people about coffee cup waste, I got to go yoga on the sidewalk and watch people do tai chi - B’s dad included! It was really fun to be a part of something so incredible: entire blocks such down to cars, people smiling, biking through. It annoyed me that almost every major intersection was open to cross traffic because, as a cyclist, I would want to bike down Bloor when it’s completely closed off, but I know the city and organizers fought hard for this to happen and I’m happy that B and I could be a part of it.
B: Open Streets is this global initiative to make cities more pedestrian friendly (you may recall us discussing this on Date #359). A and I displayed 1,078 white coffee cups and invited participants to draw on those cups, all as part of our art-installation “Disposable”. Toronto throws away 1,200,000 cups EVERY SINGLE DAY and 1,078 is the average of one café.
The whole thing was a total blast. I was exhausted from working until 4am the night before and was kind of grumpy. I also get really emotional about art and presenting our work. A was super supportive though. The people who came by and participated were totally amazing and awesome. I am so happy we got to be part of such an amazing initiative.
My parents showed up and my Dad loved doing yoga in the streets. We went for lunch after. I love how much my parents love spending time with A.
Working all night
Date #371 - Saturday, August 16, 2014
A: B is currently working on a million projects that he somehow finds time for outside of his super long-houred day job during the week. This mostly means that we work in tandem and don’t talk for hours until we sleep and then repeat it all the next day. I ended up falling asleep at midnight or so but I believe B stayed up past 3am working on the sound for Side Streets, the short film we’ve been working on all summer.
When we first met I was somehow convinced I wouldn’t be able to work/concentrate with someone else in the room. But he asked me, directly and indirectly, to try. It’s really quite nice, to be so engulfed in something that makes me feel completely alone (as writing sometimes does) but knowing that I’m not…because there’s someone else in the room. Like.. Literally… Another person… I’m always like, “Cool,” when I notice this.
B: I think A is so talented and incredible and I’m always shocked when she references so hard I work…mostly because I think SHE works super hard and I have to keep up (or that I want to).
I felt really bad for leaving so much of the sound-design on her film to the last moment. I think the film she Wrote, Directed, and Produced is so incredible and I was so scarred to mess it up that I simply put off the work. I think fear of failure is at the root of procrastination. The trick to overcoming this…accepting that you are afraid and getting the work done anyways (easier said than done - which is why deadlines are important).
Well, submissions to Sundance were a week from Monday and so I got to work. Above you can see some 30 odd tracks of sounds - everything from iPad clicks to footsteps to waves - all to be added in and mixed. It was so much fun. I love working on sound and creating realties with audio.
This was our first film together and I can’t wait to show you!
Meetup in Bellwoods and SummerWorks’ Rock Opera “Young Drones”
Date #370 - Friday, August 15, 2014
A: My friend and I met B in Toronto downtown park “Bellwoods” and we sat in the grass for an hour or so just chatting. It was really relaxing. We headed over to LOT and tried for ice cream sandwiches again before SummerWorks but failed… again… Heading to see Young Drones on an empty-ish stomach. Young Drones was awesome! Our friend plays the drums in the Bicycles and we always try to catch their shows not just to support our friend but because The Bicycles are really great and always put on awesome shows. This was a ROCK OPERA. It was my first! It was cool to go with B despite me having to whisper questions about how “rock operas” worked. I borrowed money for a beer from B, too, and he dug out all his change saying, “I have another $6 if you want another.” I thought that was so cute. He is so giving.
B: Before A and her friend met me I want to mention that I was in the park having a variety of private dances performed for me. As part of Ecouté Pour Voir audiences are treated to a one-on-one experience where dancers perform solo performances dedicated to you! Yes, you!!
Standing by myself, as a dancer places headphones over my ears and then performs to the music only the two of us can hear was unnerving, risky, and extremely moving. I was so touched (sometimes literally) and honoured and muted. If you can go see this at Nuit Blance on October 4th in Toronto, please do.
After seeing such a moving performance it can be hard to interact with others. It was really nice meeting A’s friend, I just didn’t feel completely present.
We went to Bang Bang, this super-popular ice-cream sandwich joint in Toronto because it serves Vegan ice-cream and because A’s friend is Vegan and because it is across from the place we were going. A and I have been trying to go but, because the lineups are so long, often miss out. This night carried the same fate.
Bicycles’ “Young Drones” was totally incredible! As we entered the theatre a person dressed in military garb “scanned” us using a thermion (a cool musical instrument that makes wooing sounds using gestures in the air). The rock-opera was everything a rock-opera should be. It was surreal and emotional and filled with amazing music and visuals. I kept thinking about our friend the drummer and how talented and confident she is.